He closes a door, and opens another.

Aghhhhhh. I love this guy >>>!!!@@!! Going crazy noww. I'm kinda lazy to go shower and prepare to leave the house. Heh. Actually, I woke up for school today, but I suddenly didn't feel like going to school. So I just continued sleeping. And my whole family didn't come and wake me up. Hahaha. My mother still happily leave for work. And my dad also. Uhhh. Actually skip school, they also never really chase us for MC or parents letter ehh. Heh. Aw well. Lets hope he brings the itouch later for me to play. I miss it a gazillion ;( getting it back on wednesday! Hoooraayyyy~~ Need to study SS and History. I haven't finished memorizing the SS shit. I think I sorta kinda forgotten the stuff that I studied last week. Damnnn. Oh btw, tml is a special day yknow! Some girl's birthday. Hehh. The lady gaga fan. -.- I suddenly got flu. ;/

just trying to talk a bunch of nonsense to fill in that space so that I can post this guy's picture. Heh.

♣

that was us. just awhile ago. :/ now?

I skipped school.

Happy max!!~~ There's no tuition today (like again?) screw the tuition teacher! Wanting called me yesterday night! * honored! ;) Haven't seen her in quite sometime. Bumped into her yesterday at kfc. But thats not really counted uh. Aw well. Gna go yishun area to study later on. Then probably go batok area to slack. Hehh! ;)

- I miss my less than three. :(

To YOU : Yeah, I don't understand what I've done. Tell me what I've done. Tell me. I really wanna know eh.

☺

why is it that guys who wear their hoods up on their hoodies are soooo cute? And I like guys who wear raglan tees! ;);) angmohs vs koreans/jap? Angmohs ofcause! Heh. I cannot stand how asians look so uncool!

Get me a angmoh guy! ;)

♠

-

Nothing's gonna change my love for you,

You ought to know by now how much I love you.

Live believing.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down, probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once & it's harder every time.

You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt

because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

vivianwong's.

Love me, love me, say that you love me.

(recycled pics)

I can't eat. idk why. Every time I eat, my stomach hurts like hell. Lack of sleep. Been sleeping for 1 or 2 hours each night these days. I was late for school today. Forced to stand outside the general office. I swear I almost fainted there from exhaustion. Damn. I want to get this O levels done with. Then I can enjoy my 4 months break. That would be the best ever. My stomach is still hurting like hell now. I rather go w/o dinner.

说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口.

说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口.

说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口.

说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口.

说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口. 说说说说说你爱我, 我我我我说不出口.

* barely breathing -

WHERE'S THIS BOY?

- numb, numb, numb.
- erase this love.

I switched off my handphone cause of some personal stuff. I wanna runaway from the world alright. Just leave me alone. I don't need anybody. I don't need you. Nope, don't need ya at all. If you really wanna contact me, call my house phone or write on my wall. I'm gonna leave my phone off for quite sometime. I don't wanna leave my phone on, hoping that you'd text me. It just sucks, cause you won't. I deleted your number, so that I won't hope to see your name appear on my "1 new message". I still can remember your number anyway. Deleting it wasn't good enough yknow. Awhile ago, you told me ___ when I was on the taxi with him, but now you tell me not to love you. I should be asking you this... What do you want?

Want me to go? Just do this 1 very very very simple thing. Contact me somehow, and tell me that you don't love me, that you will never love me anymore, that you won't want to love me anymore, that I mean absolutely nothing to you already, that if I still love you, you wouldn't care, that you will never come back to me. Convince me with that. Then I'll go. Cause, why, I feel like you still care. You're yes then you're no.

Boom whatcha say?

don't let me go -

I've become so numb.

I just reached home not long ago. Studied like mad for SS.

I'm gonna pass my ss this time round.
(crosses fingers)

Not gonna let anyone distract me. ;);) Hopefully leadership comes out again eh. Hmmmm. Was at Woodlands library for productive studying. Went to shop a bit around causeway point. Then headed to batok for productive playing. Hehhhh. Played itouch. ;);) Then headed home quite late. Just reached home not long ago. I came online, then he went offline. Aw well. I'm not gonna let myself become a second "her". Not gonna let love control my life. Cause life isn't just about love. But I gotta admit, I love you, a lot, a lot, a lot.

I'm charging itouch + downloading smt thats like 92mb. So, I guess it'll be a late night for me again. Aw well. Yay, Lia just msned me. ;);) Can't wait for school tml. Gosh. I sound crazy. I guess I'm gonna really concentrate in class from tomorrow onwards. I know I said that many times already, but its for real now. I have a badddd lack of sleep. Sigh. And I can't sleep in class. -.-

- when I become stronger..........

There's so many ways to love you.

I slept at 8am. I woke up at 1pm. Nice one stef. 5 hours? I am mad. Seriously. Aw well. I'm going out to "study" now. Needa stop playing itouchhhh. K, I'm off! ;);) I'll be back late late late tonight!

- baby lemme love you right.

- somebody, somebody, somebody who won't leave.

(non-existent)

THERE'S THIS BOY.

I needa get some sleep. damn this itouch, took me soooooo long to download the stuff that I wanna dl. ;( fml pleaseee~ I have to study for ss prep soon! Look at the damn time. Sighhhh. shall get some sleep soooooon! right after I hunt for some food to eat. I'm starving + dehydrated now! Had a little talk with khw just now! ;) bye. ~~

- never stopped loving you. don't doubt me.

The one and only one to rock this world.

I downloaded a gazillion girly games into his itouch. He is so gonna kill me on monday! Hahahha! ;)

Don't you think life would be much easier if everyone didn't have insecurities. If everyone loved and everyone cared. If there was nothing to be insecure about. If no one is a stranger, and everyone knew each other. If a stare wouldn't get a punch, but a smile instead. If good stuff don't go unnoticed. If people don't judge. If people don't lie. And if they don't have a need to lie. If there was nothing wrong in falling in love. If no one was afraid to.

But me and you were meant to last forever.

MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE.

I'm stuck at home today. Initially planned to meet up with bro to teach him phys. But he said he was gonna meet the backstreet boys to study and stuff. So, I guess I'm stuck here~ Wanted to meet J to shopppp, but she ain't free. Awwww. ;( K, I like the new blogsong (this girl). Heard it on his itouch. Yay. Awesomeee. What to do nowwww? I woke up at like 10 today cause of him text. And went back to sleep. Then woke up at 4pm. Zzzz.

N levels is coming people. Like 9 days? Goodluck! Less than three.

- there's this guy.

Rain is pouring down on your sidewalk.

Miss : Benji & E.

Ew @ my old bangs.

I miss,

teoweisong, fucked bro.

Hope less, hurt less.

I HAVE A ITOUCH NOW. *screams.
alright, I'm sharing it, but whatever.

deactivating facebook soon. temporary I guess?

What 5 words do you see?

Our psychological state allows us to see only what we 
want/need/feel to see at a particular time.

-

-

-

@enoughfats : My 5 words are :
SECRET, SUICIDE, FOOL, OBSESSION, PAST.

emotional breakdowns.

as all hell breaks lose.

whys everyone having it? emotional breakdowns. I'm dying from this stress. everything is stressing me out. I missed school on wednesday cause I slept at 3am and woke up at 6pm. fml ttm! ;( I'm not always the best person to turn to when you're down. but really, seeing her down, makes me wanna breakdown all over again. I wish she'd just explain everything. Cause when she says nothing happened, it doesn't mean that nothing happened. something happened, we're all just too afraid to admit that it hurt us. We're just to afraid to admit that we're vulnerable. that anything could just knock us down, and we may not have the courage to pick ourselves up again. how can we let people see the vulnerable side of us? ofcause the easiest way to hide the fear and pain is to say "nothing's wrong." I wish he could see the pain in my eyes. cause really, lying about these emotions are really very very difficult. I know he's long gone already. I wanna meet jocelyn now. ;(

PROBABLY GNA GO ON HIATUS UNTIL END OF 2010. BYE BLOG. BYE FACEBOOK. ♥

HELLO BOOKS. ;(

The world is coming to an end.

i wanna call him up right now and complain about everything. sigh. less than three. ;(;( i don't know if i was wrong to trust you. i trusted you too much. and now? i miss everything about you. and i bet you have never loved me before. you never have/ i was just your replacement. now, i'm a 2nd her. running around like a silly fool. because of you. stop appearing in front of me. it hurts as hell. ;(

not enough sleep. ;(
not enough of you.

That boy is a monster.

how many times have I gotta fake that smile and that laugh. I'm growing sick of it.
you're not the person I thought you were. I fell in love with someone who wasn't existent. ;(
less than three, less than three, less than three. you lied to me. ;(;(;(;(

smiling has become the most tiring exercise ever. ;(

I never thought I'd need you there when I cried.

I ain't interested. My heart is alr taken.

Was MIA yesterday. Went to play l4d with friend then headed home study and stuff. Didn't wanna touch the comp cause I had prep papers. And I still have prep papers tml. I really dk how the fuck am I gna scrape through all these exams. Faints* Reached home late today cause of YOG and cause I met up with a friend after that. Just reached home not long ago. Sigh. Dead tired. Have been sleeping for 2 or 3 hours each night. Gonna die from exhaustion very very soon.

- today's chem prep paper, cmi. ;( studied like mad for this paper.
- tml's hist prep paper, cmf cmi. couldn't find time to study. damn.
- tml's chem acid, bases and salt test, cmf cmi. again had no time.
- english vocab test? :/
- next day's amaths paper, D-I-E.
- friday's chem mcq 3, so dead. ;(;(

*suicides.

Gna disappoint mdm lock again. Sigh. Slept so little yet managed to stay awake throughout lessons today. It was damn damn hard okay. Every few seconds my hand feels like its gonna die from holding a pen. Sigh. And plus, my mood isn't really very good because of him. Sigh. Koji should know what I'm talking about. Agh. Nvm. ;(;( I feel so betrayed yknow. To have put all my trust into one person, and then getting betrayed just like that. And, I believed you up till then. How am I to trust you again?

Games are better than girls eh? LOL!

he told me to watch this. damn damn funny!

he's like some doctor for the heartbroken.

thats damn stupid.

completely irrelevant and unimportant.

ended up buying hot plate tofu and not curry fish head.

screams. ;'( ;'(

my mood is down. when you said those words you said, i really felt like shit. and i really wanted to say. that i have really loved you. and still do. believe me or not. its up to you to trust me.

why can't i stop these fucking tears. i know, i don't understand anything. i'm foolish. thats what i am. its the way i am. so why did you fall in love with me in the first place, if you weren't ready to accept all my imperfections. by saying this, you're saying that you didn't fall in love with the real me. i don't know what you fell in love with. i don't even know why you love me, yet chose to leave me.

i just feel so unimportant and worthless. not just to you. but to the world.

Run baby run.

Wow, my family is really cmi. I have to go buy curry fish head dinner for them. Zzzzz. But at least I can get my ass outta this computer seat. So damn boring. Initially planned to go shopping with my "fling". But we were both lazy to go out. + he had no cash. Called julia, but she can't. Sighhhhhh. ;( I'm off to go get the curry fish head. I don't even like eating curry fish head. Zzzzzt.

sigh, dota (?) ;(

miss you a billion.

♥

I'm not afraid, to make a stand.

I talk to myself a lot. Actually its more of listening to myself rather than talking. Should try doing it if you wanna listen to your brain and not your heart. ;)

I was out the whole day with mum. Yay. I keep going out with her these few days. Was supposed to go rollerblading today, but I cancelled. Aw well. Went down to bras basah with her to make my spects. SIGHHH. I don't wanna become blind okay. I actually need to wear spects long long ago. Since K2? but I stopped wearing spects in sec3? Cause I don't like my spects. Hahhhh. ;) nevermind, the new pair is quite nice. Had to have the eye check up thing. And they'll put lenses into this weird spects thingy. And I have to say which one is sharper with less shadow. Wl, damn hard please. All look the same. Then the lady in the shop got pissed cause my answers are damn contradicting. ;(

Have to wait 2 weeks for the spects to arrive. After that, I wanted to take a bus down somewhere and shop, since we were around the shopping district. But my mum was like, "we have to go to korkor houhou's house." zzzzzzzzzzzzz. He's my cousin. And yeah, he's called korkor houhou. As in, brother monkey. ;/ he just got married some time back, and he has 2 kids now, andand, he has a really cool house in town! Feels like he's living in a skyscraper! Goodness. Its a newly built flat. Looks like a condo, but its just an ordinary flat. Cooool please! Its just like the 3 blocks at bukit batok. Like really tall and have their own carpark. Coolio. There was a buffet! I ate a lottttt.

I was texting my fling the whole day. Hehhhh. I have a fling! ;) alright, not exactly luh. hahaha. he's some crazy friend that I have. And he's damn satanic. Wl, scary please. ;( I was otp with him last night cause there was a moth in my toilet, and I was damn scared. hehhhh.

-
-
-
-
-

stomach cramps. sigh.
we're still not talking. ;(

I gotta go my own way.

sigh, dad says I'm too young to use his canon cam. life sucks. ;( I hate being stuck as a teenager for 7 years of my life. I wanna be a kid. can just go some restaurant and eat those kids meal for <12 year old. some more, its so much cheaper. gah, blabbering nonsense again. happens whenever I feel like blabbering nonsense. sigh. ;( I'm sad.

i don't like how everything he does affects me. don't like it at all.

i wish i can heed the advice that i tell to my other friends. wish i listened to my brain.

I am damn scared of this 7 month thing. really, a lot of things happened to me. i never say only. now, damn damn damn scared. and he went offline alr. what to do? damn ;(

I REALLY NEED TO STUDY.

no more procrastinating! ;(

Love has no happy ending.

bcause its never ending. ;);)

*somersaults. Top in class for phys EM induction test. Woooohooooooo. ;) 17.5/20. Eh, I really studied damn damn hard for that test. ;) and I cannot believe I beat the physics smart alecs. Yay. ;) k, let me have my moment of pride for awhile, cause it's quite rare that I get good results. Heh. Small test only though. Hopefully, I'll do just as well for phys prep paper! I have to study damn hard for chem and history nowwww!! Procrastinating, again. :( aw well. Alvin bro texted me just now! 1st time since forever. Missed him loaddddds. He saw me walking past shelter then he texted me. LOL.

I was eating my bread during MT, and grace ong walked past. www.goodgame.com/dc-for-3-hours. FML pleaseeeee! 1 hour for eating in class, 1 hour for my fucked socks that keep dropping downnnn on their own, and another hour for my untied hair. ;( life is so unfair. sighhhh. I had to do the chem mcq test, then do the 3 hour dc. Suckssssss. :( but, looking on the bright side, I managed to complete some revising for physics and chem. And also, there were people there who walked past occasionally to entertain me! ;)

PLEASE DON'T BREAK MY HEART? ;( sigh.

说说说说, 说你爱我.

school was the best ever. no, I'm kidding. school sucked. skipped history lesson though. Had english O level oral. I think I screwed conversation but I did quite alright for passage reading and picture discussion. Yay. I found a new motivation to study though. But the computer keeps distracting me. Damn. :( had "lunch" at 5pm with irene, yingying and daren. odd please. Left for tuition at 6plus. :)

ROLLER BLADING / SWIMMING

TML AND SATURDAY WITH FRIEND.

Life isn't just about that cute boy who shot you a smile. Life isn't just about that lost love, that ex love. Don't let a broken relationship break you down so much. Don't rely too much on him. The world doesn't revolve around him. Life still goes on without him. It may take you awhile, but soon you'll see, you don't even need him around. Love isn't everything in life. It just makes life worth the ride. But don't you think, now isn't the time? We're still teenagers. We should be enjoying life rather than breaking apart inside, just because of a boy. It isn't worth it.

Wedding dress.

give me one of these angmoh hotties!

less than three, your's.

D7 - O LEVEL CHINESE.

done with phys. realized many chapters damn easy so I just browsed through. studied those hard chapters and forced myself to memorize some fucked definitions and formulas. idk why, i prefer phys to chem. aw well. studied chem too ofc. almost done with that. will continue tml morning in the train.

misery.

baby trust me, you'll see.

♥♥♥

I just crammed 2 chapters of phys. 20 more to go. yay.

Now looking back, I wish I could rewind.

disappointment :
3/50 - ss.
32/70 - chem.
0/50 - amaths.

another disappointment tml for O level MT, I'm sure.
wish me the best of luck, I really need it.

there's phys prep tml, then there's chem metal's test.
I need to cram tonight. again, wish the me best of luck.

and, omg, my hit counters! it was 11001 just now,
how cool would it be if it hit 11110 or 11111. wow.

-
-
-
-
-
-

school as usual.

had a drink at mac for my lunch. lepak (LOL) at mac with those people. and then headed to old chang kee with wanting stranger. had some curry noodles. fuck my life. it was spicy as hell. :( gave her all the chicken and potatoes. she gave me her fishcake. :) took a train to jurong and a bus to tuition (which was just 5mins walk away from  the mrt). was raining, and we didn't wanna get caught in it. hahaha. there was a new tutor because the previous one had too much stuff in school. they're still in university i think.

after our tuition, our previous tutor was super super sweet. he rushed here from school to pass us a few notebooks that he bought. and he wrote this letter at the back of the notebook. i didn't notice the letter until i went into the train home. i wonder if wanting noticed the letter already. i'm so screwed in amaths.

just 3 more months, and it'll all be over.

won't let you win. -'- fuck. :'(
< / / / / / / 3

did I mention that I ran around the class using ongjin's water bottle to spray water on daren? best fun ever! his water bottle is like some thingy to water plants. yknow yknow? k fine, nvm. heh, it just basically sprays water out. O: then kaian decided to give my school bag to jh and jh decided to hide it at sixiang's table there. I ran ard the whole class looking for it. I even went outside the class. heh. stupid kaian + jh + sixiang. Hehhhh. ;)

Me and you, ♥

angmoh hotties/cutiessss!